What Story Are You Telling?

“What you believe is real is mostly imagined, and what you imagine is actually creating what’s real.” – Jody Moore

The human mind is a skilled storyteller.

We have an estimated 30,000-60,000 thoughts per day, and contrary to what most of us believe, these thoughts are not objective observations of reality.

Our thoughts are our own (highly subjective) interpretation of what’s happening around us.

Asking myself the question, “what am I making this mean?” has been so helpful to me.

In any situation, we often think that the way we are viewing it is simply reality (and that anything else would be delusional). Actually, there are an infinite number of ways you could think about any situation.

Let’s go through some examples.

Situation: We’ve put offers on three different houses and they were all rejected.

• Option A: This is ridiculous. This is a terrible market right now. We’re never going to find a house. Things never work out for us. Everything is easier for other people.
• Option B: I’m disappointed, but I guess none of these were the right house. We’ll find an even better house. It’s okay if it takes some time.

Situation: My coworker said something snippy that I interpreted as condescending.

• Option A: That was so rude. She doesn’t respect me. She thinks I’m an idiot. Everyone here thinks I’m dumb.
• Option B: She respects me and values my opinion. She was just having an off day. Maybe she didn’t even realize that her comment came across as condescending. Maybe I misunderstood what she meant.

Situation: My friend isn’t texting me back.

• Option A: She thinks I’m annoying. She doesn’t like me. No one likes me. There’s something wrong with me.
• Option B: She values our friendship. She’s just not great at texting back. Maybe she’s busy or she forgot.

When you find yourself feeling stressed about a particular situation, it can be so helpful to separate out the facts of the situation from the story you’re telling yourself.

The situation itself isn’t what’s making you feel stressed.

You feel stressed because of what you’re making it mean.

What are some other ways you could think about it?