Believe What People Say

Have you ever noticed that we read so much into what people say?

The human mind is a skilled storyteller and we are good at reading between the lines.

Sometimes this is useful, but there are also plenty of times when it isn’t.

We can make up elaborate stories about what someone said without realizing that those stories have nothing to do with what the person actually meant…and those stories can cause us a lot of unnecessary pain.

What if we just took what people say at face value?

Maybe they meant exactly what they said and nothing more.

Here are a few examples.

Situation: Husband says “the floor looks dirty.”

• What you think he means: He thinks I should clean the floor (even though I’m doing everything). He doesn’t even notice or appreciate everything I do around here.
• What he actually means: The floor looks dirty.

Situation: Friend says “I don’t let my dog sit on the couch.”

• What you think she means: She thinks I shouldn’t let my dog sit on the couch either. She thinks I’m a terrible dog owner and everything I do as a dog parent is wrong. She’s always judging me.
• What she actually means: I don’t let my dog sit on the couch.

Situation: Friend says “Donuts are so unhealthy. I’m trying to lose weight.”

• What you think she means: She doesn’t think anyone should eat donuts. She thinks I’m fat and I have no self-control.
• What she actually means: Donuts are so unhealthy. I’m trying to lose weight.

Situation: Neighbor says “I’m happy to help”.

• What you think she means: She doesn’t really want to help. She’s just being nice. I shouldn’t be a burden.
• What she actually means: I’m happy to help.

Stop reading between the lines when there is nothing to read.

Maybe the person meant exactly what they said.