What We’re Getting Completely Wrong About Mental Health, Part 2

In my last blog post, I talked about how useless much of the internet advice on mental health is. We’re told to “stop worrying” or “stop caring what other people think” but we have no idea HOW to actually do that. We can’t just decide to stop a negative thought pattern – the brain doesn’t work like that.

This time, I want to address another way that internet advice on mental health is completely missing the mark.

If you google “how to be less anxious” or “how to improve your mental health” you’ll get a lot of advice about what you should do – exercise, go to a yoga class, stop overscheduling yourself, cut back on caffeine…

All of these things are great. If these things help you to feel better, awesome. Do them.

But what happens if you’re already doing everything “right” but you still feel anxious, stressed, or overwhelmed all the time?

Here’s the thing that most of us are never taught.

Emotions are caused by our thoughts.

If you feel anxious, stressed, or overwhelmed, it’s not because of what you’re doing (or not doing).

It’s because of what you’re thinking.

I saw a therapist years ago who asked me some questions about my habits. When I told her that I exercised daily, went to church, had a strong support system, ate healthy, got enough sleep, had a stable job, did yoga regularly, and never had any caffeine or alcohol…she looked at me like I had three heads.

She was completely baffled as to how someone who was doing all the “right” things could be feeling so much anxiety.

If she had asked me a few questions about what I was thinking (which, of course, she didn’t), it would’ve quickly become apparent why I was feeling so anxious.

I was trying to control all kinds of things that I had no control over.

At the time, I had many unhelpful thought patterns that were driving my anxiety.

I didn’t continue to see that therapist and instead I started listening to podcasts about how to change my thoughts and rewire my brain… and that has changed my life.

I am so much less anxious than I used to be.

I’m still human, of course, and there will always be more anxiety/stress-inducing thought patterns to unwind…but thanks to thought work, I have so much more compassion with myself while I do that.

If you want to improve your mental health, focus less on what you’re doing and more on what you’re thinking.

“Do not be conformed to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” – Romans 12:2